Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Inside Looking Out

This week I was working reception and thus was unable to take in all the crazy shenanigans of the protesters, except through my little window. Luckily my escorts keep me in the know on occasions such as these.

It seemed to be "stare at the receptionist day" out there, actually. Earpiece Charlie spent the better part of his morning staring in at me. I know he can see me, too, because when I waved to one of my escorts she waved back. What are you up to, Earpiece Charlie? When he was done with that (perhaps he got tired of me smiling cheerily back at him), Mad Thad took over. Thad has a really good stare because it's got some of Earpiece Charlie's anger/intimidation, but it's also mixed with a healthy dose of sadness for the bayyyy-beeeees. So that was amusing. Although it is really weird to just be working, and every time you look up there's someone staring in through a window at you.

There is a guy who mumbles prayers all the time while he walks back and forth. Do we have a name for him? If not, it's up to you, faithful readers, to suggest one. Anyway I guess his prayers were occasionally audible this week, and the escorts inform me that he was praying for "all the little babies who will never get to laugh and run and play" etc. etc. ad nauseum. A touching sentiment, really, but you know he just spoke that part louder as he was walking past the escorts, to make them feel guilty about being the cause of such a lack of running, laughing, playing babies in the world. Never mind the stabbing, smoking, raping babies. If this guy loves babies so much, why isn't he home with his? Sometimes I wonder if all these old men are just dealing with some kind of extreme empty nest syndrome.

Crazy Legs fashion update: she may have been shopping! She was wearing black pants and a lovely black sweater with embroidered roses. If you want to get Crazy Legs's look, my sources tell me that she does indeed shop at Value Village! And apparently she is always very polite. Don't forget to overdose on the bright red lipstick and goopy mascara for that special Crazy Legs touch.

Oh, another excellent snippet of overheard conversation between protesters: "If people want to stop breast cancer, just stop abortion." Riiiiiiiight. In case you are a protester yourself, or you missed that freshman logic class, here's why that is not going to work:

1. Abortion does not cause breast cancer. For more on this, do some research.
2. Most people who have breast cancer did not get it from abortions (see above).
3. Thus, stopping abortions will not affect the breast cancer rate in the slightest.

Good effort, protesters, but maybe you should stick to discussing whether or not Revelations is supposed to be taken literally. (Hint: no).

One last thing: Dr. Henry Morgentaler is going to be on The Hour on CBC tonight (Wed. Oct. 10) at 9pm (outside of NB, I suggest checking your local listings).

1 comment:

Amy O said...

Maybe they believe that God punishes all of the ladies who have abortions with breast cancer.

Also, I loved your description of Crazy Legs' fashion sense!